A Tale Of Two Dreams

Well last night I saw two dreams; both were contrasting to each other. Here goes the first one. We are a bunch of guys near a waterfall, the sound is blaring. The water is looking pure white after breaking in the air. There is a stonewall kind of thing so that no one falls in the waterfall. Suddenly I see one of us jumps in the water. Surprisingly he survives; in fact he is enjoying hanging there with a net. A few guys jump in and I also jump in. Crazy bunch of college kids. The thing is it was fun and without any fear. Next thing I see is a lush green university campus. We are in a hostel or something. There is some kind of unnerves ness going on. Suddenly I find this room with a hatch where a few guys are trying to keep the hatch cover closed and someone is trying to come out of it. I went closer and found out some kind of strange ghost is trying to come out. They didn’t seem harmful though. There is this gal with a slinky dress who is pressing the hatch with her legs and with the other two hands is holding some kind of a pipe structure to balance.Must say she was looking damm sexy. She is not able to balance herself, so I jump on the hatch, hold her tightly in one arm and pull her closer and with the other hand I try to grab the pipe and balance. But in spite of all these effort somehow the ghosts manage to come out of the hatch and start to run away. I see each and everyone and their faces are changing. Every one is giving each and everyone a strange look, like what is happening to you. In no time we realize that the ghosts have either infected us or done some strange thing. I ran after one of them, towards a corridor, there is no light there, but suddenly a small hole appears and the ghost escapes. I could just see it go through that hole. The next day its morning and I woke up as usual. The same lush green campus, guys hanging around, classes going on. I checked the time and realized that its not morning but its evening and its feeling like as if its going to be day where as it started getting darker. Surprisingly everyone else was going about as if its going to be day after the morning. That’s when I realize that now I am in a parallel world. A world, which is running in the daytime where I came from, and a world, which runs in the night where everyone is infected and everyone else, has become a ghost. Surprisingly it wasn’t scary. Its no different than the usual world we came from.We are not harmful or do all those things which they show in movies. We are just like normal, well not human beings but beings who are in jeans t shirts. Only we are able to see and realize that there exits a parallel world, which can be realized only after you become one of us.
The next one is a small but beautiful one. There is this girl whom I know. We are great friends. She is getting married to a handsome nice guy and I am getting married to a pretty gal. Both the brides are smiling and are looking really beautiful in the bridal duppata and lehenga. We are sitting on a mandap and getting married. I just saw the gal whom I am getting married, but I could not recognize her, neither the guy whom my friend was getting married. It always happens, I only see strangers in my dreams, and this time I only knew my friend. I know it sounds crazy, but that's what dreams are made up of :)

PS: Interpretations r Welcome

The Beach

It was some kind of a naval base near a sea beach. The sea was totaly blue and the sand white and clean. There were a few public visitors who had come there. It wasn't an indian beach. I was wearing a black millatary dress. I don't remember whom but I was just chatting with one friend. I suddenly drifted away from the public and went near this ship which was there on the beach a small one but with a chimney. I climbed up the chimney and was sitting there smoking a cigarette. I saw a submarine in the sea. Half of its body was outside water. Suddenly I saw two bubbles of smoke falling down very fast. They landed a lil away from the submarine. I was sure its somekind of a powerful bomb.I didn't fled.Instead I kept watching. When it exploded a lot of water splashed and came out. Immediately the water rised to a huge hight causing a really giant wave. It swept the submarine and started coming fast towards the beach. I stayed calm smoking my cigratteee. In no time it came to the beach and suddenly the water level rised to a big height.I was safe sitting over that chimney, but I could see water below my feet. I could see water rushing very fast. Again within a few minutes the water resided and I came down. I found the submarine lying on the beach and a few ppl comming out of it injured.

This Is How She Reminds Me

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'
Tired of livin' like a blind man
I'm sick inside without a sense of feelin
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin'
I've been wrong, I've been down
To the bottom of every bottle
Despite words in my head
Scream "Are we having fun yet?"
Yet?, Yet?, Yet?, no no

It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
It must have been so bad
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

This is how you remind me

A Thought

To hate all roses; because you got scratched by one thorn
To give up all your dreams; because one did not come true
To lose faith in prayers; because one was not answered

To give up on your efforts; because one of them failed
To condemn all your friends; because one of them betrayed
Not to believe in love; because someone was unfaithful

Remember that; another chance may come up
A new friend, A new love, A new life

Never give up on anything

Not an original piece,found it in a picture

What gals want?

Gals are a different species. You will find thousand guys who are almost similar, but its difficult to find out two gals who are almost similar. Atleast that's what I feel. Now you must be thinking why am I writing this. Well what else we guys talk about ;-) so why not a post on them. If someone starts writing a thesis on gals then probably it will never end. I will try to squeeze as much as possible in this one. 20 something years and still I have not understood gals properly, but who else has. I studied in a co ed skool, studied in a co ed college. Made great friends in skool, not that close friends in college. And after that the shock came, I landed up in IIT and that too in Chennai where you will hardly see gals or should I say interaction with the opposite sex. But still I am in touch with my skool friends who were also there in college also.The cellphone and internet has made it a lot easier now. Otherwise it used to be the hols. And out of these those who are of the opposite sex, and the others gals with whom I have interacted, be it in whatever lengths, I found each one is unique. I must say this is somekind of biological innovation which has been continuing since the formation of life in the smallest form. Even within skool friends there are those who are not so close and there are who are close, and there are a few with whom you don't have to think twice before talking. Then here in IIT the internet happened and came to know a different bunch of gals who are again different and unique.I had never checked a mail or operated a computer before coming here. But with time I learnt that there is a world beyond my 17' inch monitor screen. So the yahoo messenger happened and I started sailing a lil bit. I had heard about how you meet(or never meet) a whole lot of new people through internet, and how people connect. Within no time I found out that this will not work out for me. Getting into endless chat rooms and hitting the keyboard to the extent that you will get calpel syndrome was something which I could not do.I am still confused about how people do sex chat online and what exactly they do ??? 90 % of them, I am sure are guys with a gals ids. That's altogether is a different issue, what guys want. Lets not get into that. But tell you guys, I know guys who are totally senti about this. I know a guy who has a girlfriend in Philippines and when the gals father asked for proof, this guy sent 5k to that gal. He is saving enough so that he can go to Philippines. You see love doesn't know any boundaries. Ok there was this hindi movie also where the hero and heroine fall in love online. I am sure you will come across many guys like these who don't fall in love exactly but they love to do it online. I used internet mainly for e mails and surfing until one of my friends introduced me to orkut. By that time most of the guys were quite familiar with this new world. I joined found a bunch of again new people and first time thought that they actually are real people and since it was nicely sorted out with each having one profile a set of parameters and in some cases even original photographs, I thought its a good place to interact with new people. So orkuting started. I had heard a lot of stories how a guy in US can hook up with a chinky through this virtual world.I didn't have any such aspirations, but thought lets see how people react or interact here. So started orkuting. It gave an opportunity to interact with real people who are like minded. But tell you even if you find like minded gals here to interact with, eventually you will know that all are unique and are different. Here atleast I knew the identity of the people , where they are from, what do they like and many more things. Hitting on gals was so easy here. You don't know her, she doesn't know you. Simple. Well not exactly. I thought may be I will end up making a few gfs here.You just have to start scraping her,be active in a few communities which are common and once you get her messenger id start using the free internet to its fullest form and try to patao her in whatever way possible. If she is in Chennai or somewhere close, that's great, otherwise we will see. Who is gonna marry her anyway. Its all for time pass. Ya ya I can see that grin on your face, but that's what many guys try to do with their P4s never sleeping within their chardiwari. Well wrote a lot about the online stuff , but you see that's where the interaction happens and you meet new gals. Atleast I thought so for a while. Very soon I came out of this notion. Why the hell will some gal end up with me who is staying a thousand kilometers away, when she can end up with a guy who lives in the same city as she does. You see as I said, you will find thousand guys who are almost similar. So its not that difficult to find out a guy similar or even better then me to find out.I knew this is not going to work out. The whole finding out a gf onlne stuff ceased there. But eventually I met a few good souls who are genuine and with whom the interaction increased and we became great friends, online. I have met a few of them and believe me they are just like they are online. Ok gals I am still confused ;-) So how different are they from the friends I have from my childhood or from my skool days. Not much , but you see each of them is unique and different. So a few are much more closer then some of my skool friends. Now with each one you form a different equation. So let me list down adjectives and other variations which I can be associated with or what I am. But these are not specific and only ones, neither they actually represent me fully. So sometimes I am this guy within whom she confides everything, while sometimes she thinks I am wired. Sometimes she thinks I understand her properly and no one else, and yet sometimes she says that I never understand her. She is this friend whom I know for such a long time that we talk anything, and yet sometimes she is this friend with whom you just keep thinking how will she react and whether it is appropriate or not.Will she mind or will she just be herself bindas. Well don't confuse with the use of SHE somanytimes, all are different ;-) So ultimately it boils down to what kind of a person is she, and that's difficult with each being unique. Now you see why I am so confused about this species :~

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe
And she'll take what you give her as long it's free
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me

Ohhh... she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time
Ohhh... and she never gives out
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she?ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me

She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me

The Basketball WaterTank

Sitting on the top of a water tank, gazing at the stars, with cool breeze, time just flies by. You forget about everything else around you for a few moments. You are just there with yourself and nothing else. You start watching the flights landing, flights taking off, the distant hills, the N number of stars, sometimes a meteoroid piece burning to ashes and you make a wish, all the buildings with lights, you start enjoying things which even though you would have seen, look totally different at that height. You just stay with yourself for a few moments and you just wish time freezed.

An Accident To Remember

It was somewhere near UP. Both of us were trying to catch a running train and ended up swinging ourselves from the side of the train. The train started to pick up speed. There was another train coming from the other direction on the next track. There was a pole also in between the two tracks which some how seem a little closer to our train. We were almost on the verge of dying.It was the last boggy of the train and somehow we managed to find the open door and got in just in time.She was scared like hell.She held me tightly and asked me to keep holding her. After sometime she relaxed and there was a strange kind of expression on her face.We started kissing each other and my grip became firmer and firmer. Just when we were going to make out we realized that the train has somehow slowed down. We checked and found out that the boggy somehow detached from the train.The single boggy took a turn from the usual track. Someone had changed the track and now the boggy was going on a track with a dead end. It collided and started to tumble.I could feel the jerks.Somehow while tumbling I came out and fell on the ground.I saw the boggy lying sidewise and she was lying there injured. I went there and found a few scratches on her face. She had become senseless.I carried her and took her to the near by place. Fortunately she wasn't injured much.I cleaned her face with cotton and now she was looking at me again in a strange fashion.

Hostel Night & Hostel Life

When I write this post the juniors are preparing for the hostel night today. Junta have written the toast and roast. During the stay in IIT whatever funny,shady, crapy things you did, everything comes out today. Be it about the number of gfs you have or had, be it any secrets you told to your friends, today everyone knows about it. This is the day you will be exposed to the gal with whom you have been chatting for a few days and have been thinking of getting laid with her, where as it might turn out to be your room neighbor who was chatting with you to make you a dumbass.The day you forgot to close the window and were jerking off and someone caught you, now everyone will know which porn were you watching at that time.Any damn funny incident whether in class , mess, workshop, movie theatre or anywhere,all these will come out and will remind you of all the happy days you spent here.The N number of job treats, the app treats, getting high on weed and booze, going for a fag to the tarams gate,playing for the hostel everything comes to your mind.Here you make friends who are going to be there for lifetime and whom you will never forget.This is the day when even the non smoking non boozing shy guy will take a sip of booze to enjoy it.There are a few who get so much emotional that they start crying, just thinking about leaving the hostel and insti after a few days makes them sob. You are high in a different way today.You are a lot happy for yourself, for your friends and partly you are sad because you will have to leave them.Feeling of nostalgia gets to the highest of peaks.Strangly I am not feeling any of these for reasons beyond any explanations. For me it will be just another day.There are many who say that they can't forget the insti and they wish they were still here.I know how it feels when you go out of such a great institution where you get friends who are like your family.I don't know why I don't feel like that. May be circumstances have made me like that.Neway whatever it is, I just had sometime to write this while I watch all the preparation going on. I am getting late for my evening jog. May be one more on what happened in the hostel night tomorrow.

A Road Less traveled

The young today are swept away by a new wave. Call it the Rang De Basanti syndrome or the Yuva effect, today there are people who have never been there but doing it. And mostly its people who are highly educated, who are leaving lucrative jobs and taking the road less traveled. To explore, discover and live a life which they dreamt of. And just because they venture into something new doesn't mean that money takes a backseat and they give up on it. But it no longer remains the only thing they work for.They earn enough for doing what they love to do and cherish their achievements. Life for them becomes more fulfilling even in the struggle for existence. When a bunch of IITians formed a Political Party it made news. Would it have made so much news if just a few bunch of youngsters would have formed a party and decided to contest? I don't think so. Its the IIT tag, the cushy jobs they left, their ideology, their vision and above all their spirit to do something which has made them unique. You will hardly find an IITian joining the politics or who will be interested to start a career in this field. There are examples like Jayaram Ramesh and Manohar Parrikar who are IITians and are in politics. But you don't see much of these technologically educated people to make a career move in politics. A place which is synonymous with corruption,non transparency and as everyone calls it politics. These people are not joining it for the hunger of power, position or the favors involved. They are joining to bring in a change, a viable one.When I was reading an interview I came to know about their approach. There are many who simply don't vote because they think it doesn't matter and standing in the queue for such a long time just for voting is a waste of time. They are trying to make these kind of people understand the importance of voting, the importance of democracy. People who are capable, who have the knowledge, who have the expertise generally shy away from taking such a responsibility. They just complain of the bad infrastructure, the bad roads, electricity problems, water problems. Everything is blamed on the political parties. No doubt they are the ones who should take care of these things. But its WE who vote them, bring them to power. There are thousands of young people moving from cities for professional reasons. But how many of them are actually able to vote when it is required? Why any kind of political initiative is seen as a gimmick, a short term goal of getting the votes? Why people are not able to see the larger picture? These are questions which come to every thinking mind, but somewhere they get buried. Now atleast there are people who have taken it on themselves and trying to find out ways. I hope Lok Paritran wins and brings out a change.

My Home Page

Black White & Various Shades Of Dusk

Just a few days back I was reading a post by Banner and his TAG about describing the kind of gal he would like to marry.It was a sincere attempt I would say. There was this point he made that she should be fairer then him and black haired. Staying in Chennai I don't see much of the fair skinned gals and there was this community in orkut where people were discussing or rather fighting over this issue of skin color.Most of the people from south were of the opinion that beauty is not skin dependent and they had a strange kind of disliking for people who are either fair or who like the fair color and stated their liking.Generally speaking the south Indians have darker skin color and the so called north Indians or what I say the rest of Indians don't have dark skin.And if you are the kind of person who thinks that people who like the fair color are racists and don't know anything about beauty and all those stuff, then probably you might feel like giving me N number of examples of ppl from south who are fair and ppl from north who are dark and how beautiful ppl from south are and stuff.Go ahead it doesn't matter to me.Why people comment as if its a big crime if someone likes a fair colored gal? Look around everywhere and you will find ads where you will see mostly fair colored beautiful gals promoting products which promise to make your skin fair.With Fair & Lovely now we have a Fair & Handsome also.I don't know how many guys even buy that.But unless there is a demand these products would have vanished. The sale of so many beauty products which promise to give a fair color is proof enough that everyone wants to be a bit fairer.And when you say it in particular you are called a racist.What crap?Even in southindian movies you will find that the actresses are fair colored, and people are crazy about these movies in south. Isn't it proof enough that within their subconscious even they want to see the fair color.So why call the people who like the fair color a racist? He/she is not saying that dark is ugly or bad or anything like that. Its all how the society perceives and how people are projected by the media.Call me also a racist or whatever, but I think its a personal choice and as long as he/she is not imposing it on you or anyone, you don't have the right to dictate what he should like and should not like.I find dusky gals very beautiful, so does it mean that I don't like fair colored gals? That's the kind of conclusion you might make, but not me. I like the fair colored gals also, but not the overly fair colored ones.That's my choice, my personal liking.Now if you are making another conclusion, you are free to do so. As I said it doesn't matter to me.

Btw , we Indians are not fair, we are wheatish ;-) & NOM

A Mouth Full Of Smoke

I think 90 % of the people who don't smoke and say smoking is bad, actually don't know how bad smoking is. And 90 % of the people who smoke know exactly how bad smoking is. So what is it with smoking that makes me write this post? Actually along with me now I find many of my friends who are quitting or sincerely trying to quit it. Its good. It saves money, saves your health and most important they are quitting it before getting addicted. I know a friend here who doesn't smoke, infact he can't stand near people who smoke, has broken cigs one by one and thrown them out. There is one more guy, who is a regular at the gym, is a health freak and never smokes. These two guys are placed in ITC. They are going to get brainwashed.

I Am Feeling Lucky

I found it after someone forwarded to do this stuff. Open Google and type failure and then click "I am feeling lucky". So the best way to search for me is open Google type "write2brijesh"(that's my messenger id and my e mail id) and click I am feeling lucky, it will take you to my home page. Or else just type "brijesh pandey" and click I am feeling lucky and it will take you to my blogger page. And if you do a normal google search with "Brijesh Pandey" , the first link you get is my blogger page.Its easy to google me out in this virtual world. Again I am feeling lucky ;-)

I Am None Of These. So What Am I?

................Cancer
............Leo..............Virgo
...........Lbra ..................Scorpio
................................Capricon
..........................Sagittarius
...................Aquarius
.................Pisces
................Aries
..............Taurus

..............Gemini

The Little Important Changes In Life

Hmmm For the N number of people who are totally religious about sports and who are studs, this might look like just a simple thing, but for me it means a lot. The very fact that I am blogging it is proof enough of how I feel. From the last one week I have been going for jogging and swimming in the morning and evening every day. And the best thing is probably that was the only way to stay away from smoking. Yes, finally I have started to avoid it and stay away from it. Surprisingly its easy to do so. And it feels really great to wake up early, go for a jog, do all the stretchings and sweat it out. When you see the sun coming up with a cool breeze, you realize that its worth doing it.Similarly in the evening also after all the jogging and stretchings when I enter the pool and do 20 laps continuously it feels different. In the whole process I never run against time, I just have to outrun myself.Now I understand why people talk about doing all these stuff and how important are they as you keep growing up. When the professional life starts its difficult finding time for all these. Fortunately I won't miss the swimming pool and the facilities of IITM. I hope I just continue with my workouts.

The Quarter Life Crisis 20 Something & Counting

I don't know how this term came into existence, the only similar thing I had heard about was mid life crisis(MLC). But now that I am myself facing this, I can understand that actually there exists a Quarter Life Crisis(QLC). So what exactly is the crisis? To be precise, that's exactly the whole thing is all about. One word that can best describe it is Confusion.I will not try to explain what Quarter Life Crisis is, but would rather try to put down my confusions in a rather non confusing way.

We have these four stages of life described in the Veda. Bramhacharya,Grahasta,Vanaprashta and Sanyasa. But at those times the roles and the responsibilities were well documented and there were no MLC or QLC. Being a 20 something would never have been so confusing.What exactly is this confusion? That's itself is confusing , but let's not get into that.I will try to list down things which we connect to when we are 20 something.

I think the most important and most talked about crisis is Job or Career. We finish our studies and hope for the best possible job., which somehow no one seems to get. I don't find many souls who are happy with their jobs. There are two things that come to mind when we take up a discussion on this. The most important and deciding factor being the pay and the next thing is leaving the job for an MBA after a good work experience.Being a 6 point someone I am excluding all the 9 pointers types who app to univs for higher studies. So what exactly is the problem????I myself don't know. I have not yet joined and would like to find out. But there are experiences, close ones actually. So what is a good job?? A good salary, good office, good brand name of the company you work for, good facilities etc etc . Did we leave job satisfaction? Yes, so what about that. When the campus placements are going on, everyone is just in the process of grabbing a job. It doesn't matter whether you are in Mechanical, Chemical, Aerospace,Metallurgy, Naval Architecture or any such branches. I have not included the Computer Science and Electrical branches. Not all but most of them have a different route. Most of the CS guys apply for app. And many get jobs which essentially has something to do with whatever they have studied. Ppl in EE also get good salary jobs and there are many who app, and there are also ppl who take up a job like any other guy. Now coming to the companies that hire them. Most of them come from the Software Industry. That's good. They pay a lot, and there are not many core companies who pay that much and recruit so many students. So the major chunk goes to these companies with varying salaries depending on the company, branch and work profile. The next are the big ones where branch doesn't matter. Mostly in sales and marketing types jobs. They don't recruit in large numbers, but pay a lot. Next are the consultancy services ones which is a mix of Management and IT. They also have decent salary figures. Next are the core companies who also don't recruit in large numbers but have decent salary figures. Now a days a few companies are coming which are new.Like trading or investment banking. So ultimately you fit in any of these categories of jobs, right. Well not exactly. There are a few who venture into totally different fields like music, movies, theatre. But those kind of brave souls who don't risk their life getting into some job which they never thought they will be doing are very rare. But I have seen a few of them. Mostly a person like me will end up with a s/w job, which I have got.So after an engineering degree in whatever branch you did it, you go to the next stage where the QLC starts. I will write what I have seen and felt.

Let's take a few fields.Let's take a s/w engg. I have quite a few friends who are s/w engineers. So what is it about s/w engineering that makes it such a great choice initially and later makes it feel so boring , stagnating which leads to the crisis. The work becomes monotonous, the timings are hectic, sometimes even Saturdays are spent in office,long working hours. And all these for that salary that you always dreamt about. So what are you losing out on? Rest, enough sleep, social life and the rosy picture you thought. A strange kind of confusion starts building up. Is this what I wanted to do in life? Why am I still doing this if I don't want to do this? Is this the compromise I have to make to make the money? What about sustaining the kind of lifestyle I am in? Phone bills,weekend parties,branded products or lifestyle products, living in a good house in the heart of a big city, spending on luxury stuff. And what will it cost to escape from all these? A job change, going for a MBA. But does it guarantee what exactly you want?I wish there were an appropriate answer. How about writing a book? Will I be able to do it? Do I have the talent to write a book? Will I be able to publish it? What if it fails? And what about my daily needs? Where will the money come from? While it sounds all so good to think so, its not so easy and everyone knows it. So just continue with the job and keep searching for another one which you think is what you are looking for.Let me give a few examples. I have a friend in hyderabad in TCS. Like most, she also thinks of it as boring, monotonous. Apart from these the daily grind takes whatever energy she has left. A few other are in Bangalore. Most are preparing for CAT or searching for a new job. A few are in chennai. Their view, Life just sucks. So what exactly are all these people looking for? They wanted a good job, a good salary and they got it. Why are they complaining now? Aparantley that's not what one always wants. The lack of time for other activities, absence of like minded friends, even the other everyday non work related stuff like traveling, food etc make them to think.Chilling out at the bar over a couple of drinks or beer seems to be the only social activity for which they get time. Otherwise its well spent in catching up with whatever sleep loss that happened during the week. But not all think like this, there are ppl who stick to their job and move ahead with life.

Let me give one more example. This guy was in Aerospace Engineering. He got a job in HLL in sales. The salary was good.The company was good. The perks were good. After working for a few months he quit. The reason?, too much of traveling, stress and basically doing excel work and pushing people which was something he never wanted to do. He doesn't regret quitting the job. Infact he has taken up a new job now which pays less, but he is happy.

I know a friend who did his B.Tech in Chemical Engg, but due to his CGPA could not get a job in the placement. So he joined a product based s/w company. After a few months he was fired for browsing stuff which were against the company policy. Now this guy took the job just because he could not find a good job which he wanted. He wanted to work on CFD. But no company took him because of his low CGPA. He is great at maths, really has interest in CFD but doesn't seem to have the luck. Now he had no option but to get a job from the placement cell as a trader in a startup.
Another guy left Infy because he didn't want to do coding. He could have got a fat salary job in Gulf but he choose to take a consultancy job in chennai instead. He says, if he stays in gulf he will make lots of money, but where will he spend it. There is no social life and hardly any friends.

Now with job you need to move to new places and with that comes a lot of other stuff which you need to take care of.You need a few more guys and a house to share. Once you move to a new place, you might be away from your gf. I know friends who spend hours talking over the phone with their gfs. Then there is the problem of not meeting each other for a long time. And if you don't find like minded people then you can't have fun also. These though are not a part of career or job as such, but no doubt they affect a lot.After sometime you get used to it.

So what is the solution? I don't know.I have hardly been there in. But one thing upon which everyone will agree is balance. Its difficult. But that's what makes all the difference. After watching RDB one of my friends, a s/w engg, said he doesn't feel like coding anymore, rather he should have joined a defense job. If that's the case then can he just quit and join the defense. Its not that easy. Why didn't he join in the first place itself? Like everyone else he was and is as confused as everyone else. What is it about MBA that seems to be the next step after a few years? Is it another escape route which you could not make it immediately after graduation? Or do you really know if that's what you are really interested in. Every year a few of the MBAs from the best institute don't take a high paying job and instead venture into fields which have nothing to do with what they are taught in MBA. Do they also face a QLC. Yes some of them do face it. Hardly anyone can escape it. Its a phenomenon. It happens to everyone. And that's why some of these MBAs feel its a waste of talent and time when they are busy pushing the sales chart of a soap, a FMCG product or even some liquor or cigarette which they never drink or smoke.

What is it with BPOs and CallCentres? I don't know. Ok, atleast call centers are the ones who take care of customer care and BPOs are essentially outsourced work for other ppl. The picture that emerges is night shifts, hectic work hours and too much stress along with a good pay.I know a friend who has a MBA from a reputed institute, is a Project Manager, who has to work in night shifts and its taking a toll on her. She is going to quit the job. And she is not in her early 20s who is facing this crisis.

I don't know why, but we don't hear much about doctors having hectic working hours, lawyers complaining of stress, govt employees complaining of boring mundane work etc etc . But when it comes to Engg and MBA and the jobs after that we hear a lot about these.

There was a time when, if you are around 20 something then parents used to start pushing you for marriage. Now a days that doesn't happen. Even for gals marriage takes a back seat and having a good career is what they aspire to. Having a few girlfriends or boyfriends for sometime, breaking up and moving on to new ones is not so uncommon. But even then there are ppl who stay committed. Its just that they give more priority to career then the commitment.

I am as confused as anyone else my age will be. I have two jobs. One in the prestigious Indian Navy and the other as a s/w engineer in a Product Development Company. Being a 6 pointer has never felt so bad. I screw up my academics due to many reasons and ended up being a 6 pointer. But if that goes below 6 I will lose the Navy Job. A job which has the challenge, a great lifestyle, so many facilities, and most important a core job, but minus the salary. On the other hand I have a job which is not like the usual run of the mill s/w job which are mostly service oriented, but is about designing and developing a product which has a niche market. Its a small company with huge potential.The pay is good. The work seems good. Atleast I won't be forwarding mails I guess. I don't know what's there for me in future. I am as confused as anyone else who comes to this juncture in life.I hope I will be able to fulfill some of my dreams.

My Desktop with new Gaim2

Zen in the Art of Archery

I hardly know about Zen and I hardly read books. I picked up Zen In The Art Of Archery when one of my friends suggested it. First of all I tried to read it simply because it was thin. I can't read all those thick novels. After I finished this book I thought may be I have understood a little bit of what Zen is. Its something beyond the spirituality involved in any of these practices and I think all other forms of dhyan also mean the same. The book is not just about Archery but about being yourself, knowing yourself and discovering the other side of you.

The Matrix

Wao Cool movie. But this is not about the movie. Its about the Matrix like thing I am feeling. My vague dreams, which somehow are so close yet so unreal. I see people and not monsters or spacecrafts. I see real people. I see things which might be existing in this world. People say that dreams are related to people and stuff around us with whom we interact , and there are many more with whom our brain interacts subconsciously. But how does it reappear in the dreams as unknown faces, unknown places, unknown themes and mostly with a single important sense of being there knowing that its a dream yet feel it.

I am feeling sleepy now, lets dream Yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I lost my P4 machine

I had a P4 , 1.7 Ghz , Intel 845GBV system. Sometime back there was no signal going to the monitor and I gave it for repair to Sanghvi Computers. What he said is the MotherBoard has cupped and needs replacement, but to support my system he can't put an Intel motherboard because it won't be compataible. I said Ok, do it I will come and collect it. When I went to the shop he had replaced the motherboard, don't know what company it is and I didn't care also. He said there is some problem with the SMPS and needs change, I said ok do it. I put a new 256MB DDR Ram and was happy that now my system will work. FUCK THY SHOPKEEPERS. Now this is what sucks bigtime with these marwari comp shop owners try to act smart. This guy had removed my LAN card, and when I asked for it said it was not there. I said check it must be there, and obviously it was there and he found out, next was my CPU cover, he said you must not have brought it to the shop, wtf, checked again and found it, the thermacoal pieces were not there inside, I said you have to give, he found out them also. I was so pissed up with this guy that I almost had a fight with him. Ok after getting everything I brought the CPU back and found that he had put a Intel Celron (R) on my comp. When I called him back he said it must have been a Celron that you bought. What crap, these guys simply won't agree that they have done a mistake and instead question. Now when I told him that it was a P4 he said ok I have a spare P4 which has cupped and since he doesn't keep spare in his shop that must be mine. WTF he didn't say anything about this when I asked what needs to be repaired. I believed that my MotherBoard and SMPS cupped and I had to do that because, I had bought the system from him and I didn't have any other option. Now this guy says, take an AMD motherboard and processor which will come for 5.6k. Why the fuck should I take it now paying more, when I had a running P4 machine and he didn't mention it anytime. How will I believe that all my motherboard processor and SMPS cupped at the same time. This sucks bigtime. And after all this happened this guy doesn't just agrees that there was a mistake, but he is not ready to do anything. So why should I suffer because of his mistake. If he doesn't give me a good deal in anything now, there is one thing for sure, I will put up notices in all 12 hostels saying that what these guys do and not to buy anystuff from his, he is not reliable. It will cost me just 10 bucks. And atleast he will lose 10k minimum for that. Now he will realize how a single unsatisfied customer can divert his customers away from him. This is in the pipeline if he doesn't offer me a good deal. Lets see, but one thing is for sure, in anyway he is going to loose many customers just because of me.

Life After Death

Life After Death

Main Zinda Hoon

Najane kab se umeedein kuch baki hain
Mujhe phir bhi teri yaad kyun aati hai
Najane kab se........

Door jitna bhi tum mujse pass tere main
Ab to aadat si hai mujko aaise jeene main
Zindagi se koi shikwa bhi nahi hai
Ab to zinda hoon main iss neele aasman main

Chahat aaise hai ye teri badhti jaye
Aahat aaise hai ye teri mujko sataye
Yaadein ghehri hain itni dil doob jaye
Aur aankhon main ye gum nam ban jaye

Ab to aadat si hai mujko aaise zeene main
Sabhi yadein hain sabhi batein hain
Bhula do unhen, mita do unhen..........

Ab to aadat si hai mujko

Who is She?

I still remember every bit of it. It still feels so fresh so natural and so real. She was like morning dew, with just a little sparkle in her eyes. We were so close. I could feel her deep breath, fast heartbeat. And when I kissed her it was amazing. I actually felt her lips, so soft. It wasn't one of those vague dreams, I know because I was part awake and woke up and went to this world of ecstasy again and I could feel her again. I could feel the touch of her soft hands, her face, so innocent, her smile, so cute. I felt every bit of it. I don't know what was happening. I don't want to know what was happening. May be someday I will find her.

It Sucks Here

It Sucks & sucks bigtime. Its the system and as usual the general response will be that no system is flawless. But when you don't find a logical answer it sucks. Just now I heard that The Dean Students has banned the pizza delivery at the rooms. Earlier there was a rule that the pizza guy will wait at the hostel entrance and won't be allowed to go to the room for delivery. Now he can't enter the IIT campus. When I asked the gen sec the reason, he could not give any specific logical reason. Whatever he said is something like this. The pizza guys drive fast inside the campus and are a threat to human beings and the deers that stay inside the campus. Just two days back a frog was found in one of the mess in veg biryani. I don't know what action has been taken against this but I am not able to find any logic behind stopping the pizza guy to deliver at the rooms. According to the gen sec, the institute provides good food at hostel and why should we order a pizza from outside, and if we want we can go out and eat. Now if the hostel food is so good then why is a Dhaba there inside the insti in the hostel zone which definitely is hazar unhygenic then the pizza? Its not the first time that the system follows its own rule and the student community doesn't have a say in any of the decisions taken. They are just meant to be elected and have a right to remain silent. There are two gates near the hostel zone, one is Vels and the other Tarams. Both these gates used to be the lifeline of the students. A few months back a notice came that the Vels gate will be closed at 6 p.m which they stretched to 8 p.m.later. Reason? I have no idea. This gate had all the xerox shops stationary shops where students could take a xerox at 12 or 1 o'clock in the night when its required. There is a cycle shop which took care of all the cycle troubles. Oh ya students are not allowed to keep any powered vehicle. Every student signs an undertaking. Now that Vels is closed at 8 p.m junta go to Tarams for all their work. There is a fruit shop in the hostel zone which caters to all the students (12 hostels, each with capacities of around 250 to 350) and still sells relatively low quality stuff compared to outside fruit juice shops. There is a STD booth and a shop which sells everything under the sun. Students used to go to Vels or Tarams because the STD booth in the hostel zone used to be busy and there were long Qs. Fortunately the cellphones have made life a lil easier. When other IITs had internet connection in their hostels we at IITM didn't have this even if its an institute of Technology. It came just more then one year back. The reason it seems was that students will misuse the internet facility. What crap. Who has the time to do this so called misuse through out the day. And just because a few students will misuse it, keep the internet away from all the students. Crap, total crap. We used to have bus service from the hostel zone to the gate. Now they changed it into two stages. One from Hostel to GC which is just walkable and the next from GC to the main gate. And the frequency, it sucks bigtime. If you have to go to main gate you catch a bus from hostel zone to GC which will take N time because you first wait for the bus at the hostel zone. At GC you again wait for N time to get a bus to the main gate.And the frequency is so pathetic that students actually don't prefer going to the main gate and going outside somewhere. They just go to the Tarams gate and catch an auto from there. The reason behind this two stage bus service?? Again no idea. Btw it costs just one rupee from hostel to GC and one rupee from GC to gate. And from Tarams it will cost atleast 30 to 40 to go to anyplace. Students prefer giving 30 bucks compared to this two bucks. Why can't they make the ticket just 2 bucks and run it from hostel to gate? No they won't do it, they have a mind and logic of their own. Crap. When you register your computer with the hostel they are supposed to give a LAN wire. Now when I registered he didn't give me one, when I was taking my comp out for repair he was asking me to give the LAN wire back until I get my comp repaired. What crap? Why do they need the LAN wire in the mean time? Again no logic. A library gets closed just because one or two books were stolen or the timing is restricted. Forget about females even male visitiors have time restriction on visiting the students in the boys hostel. I can go on and on like this stating the N number of illogical stuff which goes on here. But the only thing I can do is write it down like this. I am helpless. The student community is helpless. The freedom is non existing. The secs just go to the meeting, listen to whatever crap is being told there and come back. They just get officially elected. That's all. Its totally up to the higher authorities to do whatever they want to do. You raise a voice and you endanger your life, your career. No one will do that. That's how the system is. These young bright minds whom the institute trains and imparts the so called knowledge to be responsible citizens, vanishes somewhere within the system. It sucks and sucks bigtime. So the only way is to beat the system within the system. Yes I don't think we are doing anything wrong each time we beat the system. Is this the kind of attitude only in this IIT or all? I don't know. But whatever I know from friends I think here its just too much. Anything is possible here where there exits an engineering college where boys and gals are fined even for committing the crime of talking with each other, yes that's true, there exits a college like this here. They just take away even the fundamental rights. And worst is the kind of parents who send their sons and daughters to such an educational institute thinking that it maintains a high degree of moral conduct. All crap. It sucks and there is only one way, beat the system.

My Presence on Multiply

I am available on Multiply also. Here is what you need to look for in the future.

http://xdivide.multiply.com/

Rang De Basanti

I had heard a lot about this movie. There were people who were saying that its really inspiring.
And there were a few who said that they don't understand why the movie is talked about so much. Yesterday I was talking to Bulbul and she said she is really moved by the movie. I didn't understand what did she mean. Is it the concept, the story, or the movie making skills which she is talking about?It was weekend and we went for some beer though a bit early. After having enough beer and the high, we went to watch the movie. Last night it was screened in our insti Open Air Theatre (OAT) as a promotional movie. Junta had said to watch it in a theatre to feel it.Finally I was watching Rang De Basanti in a theatre without paying for it. The movie had started,went through the interval and finished. I for a change didn't find it inspiring, as I felt while watching Lakshya or Swades. Towards the end of the movie my mind had moved out of the movie and I was actually thinking. Yes when you are high you think, but this was different. OAT was full of talented young minds and the professors also. When Soha Ali Khan says, "mar dalo usse" junta roared in enthusiasm, when ever Karan spoke a few lines on radio junta roared. I sat there quietly, watching the whole drama. I never felt the rush of blood. In Swades Mohan Bhargava didn't come back to save India, or to change the political system or to eradicate poverty from rural India. He had a vision and he came back to fulfill that. A small but significant one. In Lakshya Karan is like any other youngster who is confused until he realizes what he needs to do. In Rang De Basanti I could not understand if it is anywhere close to reality. Ofcourse there are emotions attached and if something like that happens any one will get agitated. I have myself gone through something similar. It was not a politician but a doctor. In class 10th one of my close friend had fever and the doctor said its just a case of malaria where as it was typhoid. He died due to the negligence. I could not understand what can be done about the doctor. We were helpless. I don't know what his family was going through,but there must be somekind of anger which got subjugated due to the pain and emotional distress. Everyone talks of changing the political system, to bring a new revolution, to change the corrupt system. And there are a few who actually work towards this. But how many of us actually bring out a small change within ourselves. When a group of young IITians form a political party it becomes news. People think that now here are a bunch of talented youngsters who left high paying jobs and are really doing something. But it just disappears from people's mind after a few days. No doubt, cinematicaly speaking the movie is great, the concept is amazing and the screenplay is superb. But apart from just bringing a few hours of temporary inspiration for these young minds it does nothing. At the end of the movie students were interacting with the director Rakeysh Mehra, the producer, Madhavan and Siddharth(Karan) who had come there to interact with these talented youngsters and their reaction towards the movie. I didn't have any questions to ask them or had the slightest enthu to interact with them. I just shrugged in the crowd and came out of OAT confused, I was no more high.

Whatzup

"What's Up"?
"How is life?
"What's going on?"
"Life main kya chal raha hai??"
"Aur kaisa hai"

I really get confused when I hear such questions. I don't know what to say. They might be really easy for ppl to answer, but for me they are really complicated questions. Questions for which I don't have answers. Is that some of you also feel?? May be..

My Movie Character List

Movie Characters I like

1) Simply Amitabh Bachchan
2) SRK in Swadesh
3) Saif in Dil Chahta Hai & Kal Ho Naa Ho
4) Amol Palekar in Gol Maal
5) Rahul Bose in Mr & Mrs Iyer
6) Abhishake Bachchan in Shararat and Refugee
7) Aamir Khan in Dil Chahta Hai, Sarfarosh, Ghulam, Akele Hum Akele Tum
8) Rajpal Yadav in Main Meri Patni Aur Woo, Hungama, Main Madhuri Dixit Banna Chahti Hoon

1) Konkana Sen in Mr & Mrs Iyer
2) Kajol in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,Ishq,DDLJ
3) Preity Zinta in Kal Ho Naa Ho,Lakshya, Dil Chahta Hai,Sangharsh, Salam Namaste
4) Chitrangada Sen in Hazaron Khwaishen Aaise
5) Nandita Das in Fire, Bawandar
6) Rani Mukharjee in Hum Tum, Chalte Chalte,Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Black,Veer Zaara
7) Dimple in Dil Chahta Hai,Krantiveer,Leela
8) Depti Naval in Freaky Chakra

1) Morgan Freeman and Tim Robins in The Shawshank Redemption
2) Tom Hanks in Cast Away, You Have Got Mail, Saving Private Ryan, Sleepless In Seatle, Forrest Gump
3) Russel Crowe in Gladiator
4) LeonardoDi Caprio in The Basketball Diaries, Titanic
5) RobertDe Nairo in Taxi Driver, Meet The Fockers, Goodfellas
6) Mel Gibson in Braveheart, The Patriot, Signs
7) Johny Depp in Sleepy Hollow, Finding Neverland, Pirates of the Carribean,Blow
8) George Clooney in The Perfect Storm, Ocean's Eleven
9) Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai, Mission Impossible, Collateral, The Firm, A Few Good Man
10 Kevin Spacy in American Beauty, The Usual Suspects, Se7en, The Life of David Gale
11 Billy Hays in Midnight Express

1) Salma Hayek in Fools Rush In, After The Sunset, Once Upon A Time In Mexico, Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn
2) Jodie Foster in Panic Room and Flight Plan
3) Angelina Jolie in Mr & Mrs Smith, Tomb Raider
4) Penelop Cruz in Sahara, Gothika
5) Kate Winslet in Titanic, Finding Neverland
6) Meg Ryan in You Have Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle, Proof of Life,

An Exhaustive List of Things

These are not in the order of preference , they are just arbitly numbered.I will keep updating it.

Nicks
1)Guddu
2)Brij and the other variations of the same
3)CG in insti

Things of opp. sex tht attracts me:
1) Phigure & face specially dusky ones
2) Sense of humor
3) Attitude
4) Straight Forward and Easy Going Nature
5) Practicality

Celebrity crush:
1) Salma Hayek
2) Salma Hayek
3) Salma Hayek.... N times

Phrases I use a lot
1) Abe
2) Chutiya and other variations
3) Tharak and other variations of the same like tharki,tharkan
4) Walk pe chale kya[:o] that actually means going for a fag
5) sutta hai kya
6) Paise Nahi Hain yaar
7) Mad**c**d&Be***c**d and other variations
8) Arbit
9) Kya Kare

Things which I am proud of about myself
1) :o
2) :-/
3) :-?
4) :-??
5) :-s
6) :D
7) Innocence :)

Movies
1) Mr & Mrs Iyer
2) Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
3) Lakshya (The most inspiring hindi movie for me)
4) Dil Chahta Hai
5) Lets Talk
6) Golmal
7) Prahar/Krantiveer
8) Roja

1) The Shawshank Redemption
2) The Basketball Diaries
3) The Motercycle Diaries
4) American Beauty
5) The Usual Suspects
6) Finding Neverland
7) Titanic
8) Cast Away
9) Requim For A Dream
10)Million Dollar Baby
11 Midnight Express
12 Spring Summer Fall Winter & Spring

Things I can eat/drink anytime
1) Orange Juice
2) Mango Milkshake
3) Chewing Gum
4) Gajar ka Halwa
5) Fresh water prawn
6) Nimbu Pani

Actors I like
1) Amitabh Bachchan
2) Rahul Bose
3) Paresh Rawal
4) John Abraham
5) Aamir Khan
6) Saif
7) Amol Palekar
8) Abhishake Bachchan
9) Akshaya Kumar
10 Sanjay Dutt

1) Tom Cruise
2) RobertDe Nairo
3) AlPacino
4) Russel Crowe
5) Kevin Spacy
6) Mel Gibson
7) LeonardoDi Caprio
8) Morgan Freeman
9) George Cloney
10)Tom Hanks

Actress I like
1) Sushmita Sen
2) Konkana Sen
3) Nandita Das
4) Kajol
5) Rani Mukharjee (out of 5,,4 bengali gals and one half oriya, I lo these gals)
6) Dimple

1) Salma Hayek
2) Jenifer Aniston
3) Angelina Jolie
4) Meg Ryan
5) Courtney Cox

Weird things I have done
1) I fell down from the roof,which had no boundaries while flying a kite which was made of just
paper and tied with a thread, nothing else. And yes it flies with out those sticks.And i didn't
get a single scratch on my body.On one side there were bricks and on the other there were stones, I fell in the middle.

2) In the physics lab practical book @IIT I kept signing under the signature column till the end
when I came to know that it was supposed to be the prof's signature.He made enough fun of me :))

3) Put proxy for the only Sardar in my class of 27, ofcourse it got noticed but i didn't get caught

4) Attended Arts and Commerce classes while I was in college in 12th to watch gals there and once in a commerce class the prof asked me some question, which obviously I didn't know. and the prof says, "you guys just come here to do time pass and look at gals" ;-)

5) In 5th std in skool after lunch break there was no water in the drinking water tap, so we took
permission from the principal to go out to the near by Homeopathy college and drink water.We came back after skool was over.

6) Have driven a Yamaha RX135 at around 115 I lo that machine :)

7) Once I came to room totaly drunk,opened all the windows and door and crashed till morning 9 o'clock just in my jockeys & nothing else.Someone had closed the window and door in the morning

8) Went to a red light area in Goa when I was in first year just to see how things work out there

Things I want to do
1) Earn lots of money
2) Do lots of photography, specially Black & White and cinematography
3) Have my own Travel and RealEstate agency with my brother.I have started working on the travel part. Its the initial bluprint stage.
4) Take my dadi ma for a tirth yatra.
5) Gift a laptop and a bike for my sister.
6) Open an oldage home at my place.I don't know if I can do it, but will try.
7) Have a studio apartment of my own.
8) Fall in love

I wish I had
1) A Hayabusa
2) A BMW Convertible Mini, a Skoda Yeti & Roomer
3) Looks and Hair like Tom Cruise in MI2
4) A Bose Home Theatre System with a high resolution wide screen projecter
5)A swimming pool at the top of my house with palms on the sides and cold orange juice on the deck
6) Not joined IIT
7) Had a galfriend

It took quite some time.

Choice

We don't come to this world by our own choice. After that its the parents and relatives who choose for us. The diaper,the food,the milk, the cloths everything. We just enjoy whatever is being provided. We don't have a choice at that time. As we grow a bit we start using the choices available and sometimes the unavailable ones also. Still parents choose most of the things and we hardly have any choice, but to choose from the things available. When life keeps moving ahead our choices increase,ie we get more and more options, but still are constrained. We don't choose the school, but we get a chance to choose the pencil,eraser or notebook, the tiffin box, the bag etc etc.When we are kids we choose our friends. No one imposes them on us. Its mututal. With whom we play , share the lunch box, copy homework, read comix etc etc. Basically its not like relatives whom we can't choose. If we don't like Smita aunty then we don't have a choice.She is anyway going to come home and talk about you to mom and how his son Rahul came first in class. I give a damm about it ;-). We don't choose our school uniform, but sometimes we choose our colths, colors and styles. But mom never allows you to buy a torn jeans and roam around. You do that when you are in college. When you finish school you do have a choice of your career. But sometimes parents choose what they think is good for you. Sometimes you choose. You see here also though you have lots of choices you are constrained by many factors. By this time you start evaluating choices. Earlier it was like you didn't care about the price,quality or any parameter whatsoever, as a kid you wanted it and that's it. But now you think. So these restraints are actually the guiding force behind each of your smart choices. They make you think and let you choose the appropriate one and not exactly the correct one. You might not enjoy the correct one. Sometimes it happens. You may be good in biology and you might like it,but that doesn't mean you will like being a doctor. You might like to go to a forest and study a certain species of insect whose existence would not affect the world in anyway, but later on you might put a paper on how important is that species of insect to the eco system.Everyone loves macho bikes and to have one.But not everyone owns a Harley Davidson. You do have choices while buying a bike, but you don't buy a Harley Davidson. A 180 cc DTS-i Pulsar with five spoke alloy wheels, front disc brake is what makes your adrenaline rush. The specs are enough to make the 100 cc bikes look like toys. But you see even the 100 cc bikes sell a lot, ppl buy it because that's what fits their choice. The Splendours, Passions make the TVS XL super and other 60 cc bikes look like toys. So its the constraints which make you chose the appropriate thing for you. The Harley Davidson still might be the correct one for you. Don't dream about it, you are never gonna own one. So you see there are so many choices and so many options. You are the one to choose. But you don't just go there pickup one and come back home. You do a cost benefit evaluation, the quality,the color, the product life, the price, compare prices of similar models in different brands and shops etc etc and manymore things. Ahh one thing we are forgetting, your wife ie your life partner. Just a second, why is it called lifepartner,you spend half of your life without your wife and after you get married you say her life partner, in a society where marriages can break anytime. Whatever it is, its called lifepartner and I am no one to question it. I do have a personal choice not to call it lifepartner ;-) Now this can be really frustrating sometimes. Your parents choose some gal from a good family and you have to accept the proposal. It might be the second biggest blunder in your life, the first one being agreeing for an arranged marriage when you didn't want it. It might turn your life not upside down, but tilted, in a position where you can neither live nor die. Oh why scare you guys. Marriage is not that bad. I don't have any personal experience but sometimes when you see happy couples you kind of believe in the institution of marriage. Wait a sec, why is it called an institution????? Oh forget it. So you see you had enough choices to choose your girlfriend in school, in college , in office, in the park you jog, the swimming pool, the tennis court, the bar etc etc. But you choosed someone so unique that you feel she is the onlyone who is appropriate for you. And still it happens that sometimes even if you have found that perfect one, you get married to an unknown person, just because you didn't have any choice. Sometimes it happens that someone else's choice turns out to be appropriate for you. Most of the happy couples who have gone the arranged marriage way and are happy will vouch for this. Sometimes you choose wrong stuff , but that makes your assumptions clear next time. So its not that bad.Now you see how we choose and how our choices are so individual.Why the hell then do you think companies flood the market with so many varieties of undies in different colors when no one is going to see it except for a few souls including you.I prefer I mean choose white ones ;-) now don't ask me why, I choose not to say.

The Village

There was a time when I could not go to my village, just because of the hawa pani. I have some kind of an allergy with the environment of my village. Its not far from our quarter, just about 10 kms. And the environment doesn't change so drastically also. But its something which I have not been able to understand. Let me go back to my childhood.

We celebrate N festivals through out the year. Some of them I don't even know. But the one connected to the village is the arrival of new crop and the celebration. We still have our khet, but now we don't do it by ourselves. Someone takes it in contract and gives the money. Since kheti was the primary source of income in the earlier days and my ancestors basically lived on it this festival is really important. We call it Nua Khai in sambalpuri , the local dialect. That means "eating it for the first time". This is one festival when all the family members gather at our village and we offer the new rice as prashad. After the puja, my dadi ma distributes this new rice to each and everyone. We kids just play around in the open angan eating amrut or tender coconut. We have six coconut trees, two guava trees and two mango trees in our angan. Through out the year a heap of paddy will be there in the angan which is used to grow mushroom. Apart from the fruits we grow gajar, muli, gobi, mirchi, bhindi, tamatar, corn, baingan, dhaniya and a few more varities of hari sagsabzi which I don't know by name. And there are banana trees also. More on them later, because they are one of the most used trees in the household. Ours is like the typical gaon with angan, bagicha, kheti. The little changes in life have taken place and the comfort levels have increased. There is a TV, Cooler, cable connection and usual stuff. There was a time when we had cattle also. But there was no one to take care of them. Now they are residing at the padosi's angan. I have seen the kheti pretty close. My kaka will instruct the laborers to do whatever they have to do and I used to go to the khets to see the progress. The ride on tractors are the best in a gaon. We do kheti in the traditional way, ie to reap the crop, use some of them as seed and rest use. Now with technology came the hybrid variety. But no one had tried it in our place. My kaka gave it a shot. He followed the instructions and asked the laborers to plant them far apart. We never do that in the traditional system. Just after a few days of planting them, the rice saplings didn't seem to come back to life. My kaka didn't go to khet for one week. Later we were surprised by the speed of growth. The whole of our khet was visible from a far distance, because the plants were big and bushy. The yield was so much that, the laborers were finding it heavy to carry it back to our angan. Ppl started asking if they can get seeds from the new fasal. Unfortunately we can't do that with this hybrid variety,we have to buy seeds. In the night the paddy will be spread in a round fashion and a tractor will roll over it to extract the rice grains. The tractor will go round and round to do this. We used to sit on the tractor and enjoy it. Oh I am carried away by the khet, let me get back to the festival. So when its lunch time, we eat on banana leaves. It has a altogether different feeling. Ma will make puri, kher and N stuff to eat. There will be some traditional sweet which are distributed to the padosis. Though I have been to my village so often, but in my childhood I could not spend much time there. Once one lady came and saw me and asked my mom, "Is that someone from your colony whom you have brought to show the gaon & the festival". There is something about the hawa pani as my dadima says. My skin gets itchy and it becomes red. Even if I don't step out of the house it happens. One doc said gradually when I grow up this will go. Now that I have grown up,I don't get that. My dadima was the most confused on this. Why the hell this happens with our own village, it doesn't happen even in the nearby village. Now she is happy that I have grown up :) Oh ya my dadima, she is a really nice sweet dadima. When we go to the village, she will ask someone to get a few coconuts, or guava or tad or bhutta depending on the season. And in summers we have plenty of mangoes. I remember while going to the village there used to be these mutter ke khets. We just used to get in and eat tender mutter straight from the khet. There is a bridge on the way which dries during summer and ppl grow kakdi, with just a bit of salt it tastes great. Summers we used to sleep in the angan with the open sky and cool breeze. That was amazing. You don't even need a cooler or fan there. Ahh so many happy memories. When ever I go home, I just take my bike and go to the village. It feels great, simply great...

East Coast Road

Laspal has got a new Avenger and it really feels like GOD. We decide to go on a bike trip on ECR to pondicherry. The ECR road is really nice and flat. With sea by the side and the cool breeze its feeling really great. Langur is also there. We three are having a nice time. Evening ride was never so heavenly. It got dark and we found a nice beach, with the fullmoon's reflection it was looking like silver sprinkled on the waves. We sat down, lit a fire. Tandori chicken with beer. It was amazing. We forgot about Pondicherry. Suddenly Laspal wakes me up and says "abe uth", I woke up and found myself in Langur's room,I realized it was a nice dream, I had around 4 mugs of beer that night on Langur's treat.

Someday we will make that trip, soon..........Very soon.

Now a Days I am Reading & Writing

I never developed the habit of reading novels or books. But sometimes I pick up a book here and there and try to read. And in this process I have finished Lovestory(ya ya I know its too mushy,that was my first),Alchemist, FivePointSomeone, King of Torts, Black White & Various Shades of Brown. That's all. Out of these Lovestory & Alchemist were the worst. Somehow I can't relate to these fiction and unrealistic stuff in a book or novel. However untrue it may be, I can relate much more to something which feels realistic, which is straight from life, which happens or can actually happen. And may be that's why now a days I am reading Intentblog, a few more blogs, and books which I feel are realistic. Let me tell you that I have no idea about the authors of novels which ppl swear by. So for me a Dan Brown is as alien as Agatha Christie. And one thing I have realized , though late, is, it helps to read. To understand ppl, stories, perspectives, and life in general. When I was a kid the only stuff I used to read were Comics and Chandamama. And I used to pick up the newspaper everyday and turn to the page where there were these cartoon characters Henry,Archie,Denis and the humorous Lockhorns.

As far as writing is concerned, we hardly write now a days. Its such a pain to write with a pen and paper, you can't edit, the handwriting looks like some prescription. So whatever writing we are doing now a days is from the keyboard, where there is backspace to edit and Ctrl C & Ctrl V. It has made life a lot easier. I actually blogged my first blogs in 2001, but after three or four arbit posts I didn't continue. The writing bug had not bitten me. This blog is just a few months old. And now a days I am blogging with a decent frequency. And its not just blogging, there are a few more things taking shape, but let's keep them as surprises. And what an convenient medium blogging is. No rules, no boundaries, just myself. I hope I continue with this blog for ever.

Have Fun@COaDM