What gals want?

Gals are a different species. You will find thousand guys who are almost similar, but its difficult to find out two gals who are almost similar. Atleast that's what I feel. Now you must be thinking why am I writing this. Well what else we guys talk about ;-) so why not a post on them. If someone starts writing a thesis on gals then probably it will never end. I will try to squeeze as much as possible in this one. 20 something years and still I have not understood gals properly, but who else has. I studied in a co ed skool, studied in a co ed college. Made great friends in skool, not that close friends in college. And after that the shock came, I landed up in IIT and that too in Chennai where you will hardly see gals or should I say interaction with the opposite sex. But still I am in touch with my skool friends who were also there in college also.The cellphone and internet has made it a lot easier now. Otherwise it used to be the hols. And out of these those who are of the opposite sex, and the others gals with whom I have interacted, be it in whatever lengths, I found each one is unique. I must say this is somekind of biological innovation which has been continuing since the formation of life in the smallest form. Even within skool friends there are those who are not so close and there are who are close, and there are a few with whom you don't have to think twice before talking. Then here in IIT the internet happened and came to know a different bunch of gals who are again different and unique.I had never checked a mail or operated a computer before coming here. But with time I learnt that there is a world beyond my 17' inch monitor screen. So the yahoo messenger happened and I started sailing a lil bit. I had heard about how you meet(or never meet) a whole lot of new people through internet, and how people connect. Within no time I found out that this will not work out for me. Getting into endless chat rooms and hitting the keyboard to the extent that you will get calpel syndrome was something which I could not do.I am still confused about how people do sex chat online and what exactly they do ??? 90 % of them, I am sure are guys with a gals ids. That's altogether is a different issue, what guys want. Lets not get into that. But tell you guys, I know guys who are totally senti about this. I know a guy who has a girlfriend in Philippines and when the gals father asked for proof, this guy sent 5k to that gal. He is saving enough so that he can go to Philippines. You see love doesn't know any boundaries. Ok there was this hindi movie also where the hero and heroine fall in love online. I am sure you will come across many guys like these who don't fall in love exactly but they love to do it online. I used internet mainly for e mails and surfing until one of my friends introduced me to orkut. By that time most of the guys were quite familiar with this new world. I joined found a bunch of again new people and first time thought that they actually are real people and since it was nicely sorted out with each having one profile a set of parameters and in some cases even original photographs, I thought its a good place to interact with new people. So orkuting started. I had heard a lot of stories how a guy in US can hook up with a chinky through this virtual world.I didn't have any such aspirations, but thought lets see how people react or interact here. So started orkuting. It gave an opportunity to interact with real people who are like minded. But tell you even if you find like minded gals here to interact with, eventually you will know that all are unique and are different. Here atleast I knew the identity of the people , where they are from, what do they like and many more things. Hitting on gals was so easy here. You don't know her, she doesn't know you. Simple. Well not exactly. I thought may be I will end up making a few gfs here.You just have to start scraping her,be active in a few communities which are common and once you get her messenger id start using the free internet to its fullest form and try to patao her in whatever way possible. If she is in Chennai or somewhere close, that's great, otherwise we will see. Who is gonna marry her anyway. Its all for time pass. Ya ya I can see that grin on your face, but that's what many guys try to do with their P4s never sleeping within their chardiwari. Well wrote a lot about the online stuff , but you see that's where the interaction happens and you meet new gals. Atleast I thought so for a while. Very soon I came out of this notion. Why the hell will some gal end up with me who is staying a thousand kilometers away, when she can end up with a guy who lives in the same city as she does. You see as I said, you will find thousand guys who are almost similar. So its not that difficult to find out a guy similar or even better then me to find out.I knew this is not going to work out. The whole finding out a gf onlne stuff ceased there. But eventually I met a few good souls who are genuine and with whom the interaction increased and we became great friends, online. I have met a few of them and believe me they are just like they are online. Ok gals I am still confused ;-) So how different are they from the friends I have from my childhood or from my skool days. Not much , but you see each of them is unique and different. So a few are much more closer then some of my skool friends. Now with each one you form a different equation. So let me list down adjectives and other variations which I can be associated with or what I am. But these are not specific and only ones, neither they actually represent me fully. So sometimes I am this guy within whom she confides everything, while sometimes she thinks I am wired. Sometimes she thinks I understand her properly and no one else, and yet sometimes she says that I never understand her. She is this friend whom I know for such a long time that we talk anything, and yet sometimes she is this friend with whom you just keep thinking how will she react and whether it is appropriate or not.Will she mind or will she just be herself bindas. Well don't confuse with the use of SHE somanytimes, all are different ;-) So ultimately it boils down to what kind of a person is she, and that's difficult with each being unique. Now you see why I am so confused about this species :~

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe
And she'll take what you give her as long it's free
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me

Ohhh... she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time
Ohhh... and she never gives out
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
But she?ll bring out the best and the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a woman to me

She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me

The Basketball WaterTank

Sitting on the top of a water tank, gazing at the stars, with cool breeze, time just flies by. You forget about everything else around you for a few moments. You are just there with yourself and nothing else. You start watching the flights landing, flights taking off, the distant hills, the N number of stars, sometimes a meteoroid piece burning to ashes and you make a wish, all the buildings with lights, you start enjoying things which even though you would have seen, look totally different at that height. You just stay with yourself for a few moments and you just wish time freezed.

An Accident To Remember

It was somewhere near UP. Both of us were trying to catch a running train and ended up swinging ourselves from the side of the train. The train started to pick up speed. There was another train coming from the other direction on the next track. There was a pole also in between the two tracks which some how seem a little closer to our train. We were almost on the verge of dying.It was the last boggy of the train and somehow we managed to find the open door and got in just in time.She was scared like hell.She held me tightly and asked me to keep holding her. After sometime she relaxed and there was a strange kind of expression on her face.We started kissing each other and my grip became firmer and firmer. Just when we were going to make out we realized that the train has somehow slowed down. We checked and found out that the boggy somehow detached from the train.The single boggy took a turn from the usual track. Someone had changed the track and now the boggy was going on a track with a dead end. It collided and started to tumble.I could feel the jerks.Somehow while tumbling I came out and fell on the ground.I saw the boggy lying sidewise and she was lying there injured. I went there and found a few scratches on her face. She had become senseless.I carried her and took her to the near by place. Fortunately she wasn't injured much.I cleaned her face with cotton and now she was looking at me again in a strange fashion.

Hostel Night & Hostel Life

When I write this post the juniors are preparing for the hostel night today. Junta have written the toast and roast. During the stay in IIT whatever funny,shady, crapy things you did, everything comes out today. Be it about the number of gfs you have or had, be it any secrets you told to your friends, today everyone knows about it. This is the day you will be exposed to the gal with whom you have been chatting for a few days and have been thinking of getting laid with her, where as it might turn out to be your room neighbor who was chatting with you to make you a dumbass.The day you forgot to close the window and were jerking off and someone caught you, now everyone will know which porn were you watching at that time.Any damn funny incident whether in class , mess, workshop, movie theatre or anywhere,all these will come out and will remind you of all the happy days you spent here.The N number of job treats, the app treats, getting high on weed and booze, going for a fag to the tarams gate,playing for the hostel everything comes to your mind.Here you make friends who are going to be there for lifetime and whom you will never forget.This is the day when even the non smoking non boozing shy guy will take a sip of booze to enjoy it.There are a few who get so much emotional that they start crying, just thinking about leaving the hostel and insti after a few days makes them sob. You are high in a different way today.You are a lot happy for yourself, for your friends and partly you are sad because you will have to leave them.Feeling of nostalgia gets to the highest of peaks.Strangly I am not feeling any of these for reasons beyond any explanations. For me it will be just another day.There are many who say that they can't forget the insti and they wish they were still here.I know how it feels when you go out of such a great institution where you get friends who are like your family.I don't know why I don't feel like that. May be circumstances have made me like that.Neway whatever it is, I just had sometime to write this while I watch all the preparation going on. I am getting late for my evening jog. May be one more on what happened in the hostel night tomorrow.

A Road Less traveled

The young today are swept away by a new wave. Call it the Rang De Basanti syndrome or the Yuva effect, today there are people who have never been there but doing it. And mostly its people who are highly educated, who are leaving lucrative jobs and taking the road less traveled. To explore, discover and live a life which they dreamt of. And just because they venture into something new doesn't mean that money takes a backseat and they give up on it. But it no longer remains the only thing they work for.They earn enough for doing what they love to do and cherish their achievements. Life for them becomes more fulfilling even in the struggle for existence. When a bunch of IITians formed a Political Party it made news. Would it have made so much news if just a few bunch of youngsters would have formed a party and decided to contest? I don't think so. Its the IIT tag, the cushy jobs they left, their ideology, their vision and above all their spirit to do something which has made them unique. You will hardly find an IITian joining the politics or who will be interested to start a career in this field. There are examples like Jayaram Ramesh and Manohar Parrikar who are IITians and are in politics. But you don't see much of these technologically educated people to make a career move in politics. A place which is synonymous with corruption,non transparency and as everyone calls it politics. These people are not joining it for the hunger of power, position or the favors involved. They are joining to bring in a change, a viable one.When I was reading an interview I came to know about their approach. There are many who simply don't vote because they think it doesn't matter and standing in the queue for such a long time just for voting is a waste of time. They are trying to make these kind of people understand the importance of voting, the importance of democracy. People who are capable, who have the knowledge, who have the expertise generally shy away from taking such a responsibility. They just complain of the bad infrastructure, the bad roads, electricity problems, water problems. Everything is blamed on the political parties. No doubt they are the ones who should take care of these things. But its WE who vote them, bring them to power. There are thousands of young people moving from cities for professional reasons. But how many of them are actually able to vote when it is required? Why any kind of political initiative is seen as a gimmick, a short term goal of getting the votes? Why people are not able to see the larger picture? These are questions which come to every thinking mind, but somewhere they get buried. Now atleast there are people who have taken it on themselves and trying to find out ways. I hope Lok Paritran wins and brings out a change.

My Home Page

Black White & Various Shades Of Dusk

Just a few days back I was reading a post by Banner and his TAG about describing the kind of gal he would like to marry.It was a sincere attempt I would say. There was this point he made that she should be fairer then him and black haired. Staying in Chennai I don't see much of the fair skinned gals and there was this community in orkut where people were discussing or rather fighting over this issue of skin color.Most of the people from south were of the opinion that beauty is not skin dependent and they had a strange kind of disliking for people who are either fair or who like the fair color and stated their liking.Generally speaking the south Indians have darker skin color and the so called north Indians or what I say the rest of Indians don't have dark skin.And if you are the kind of person who thinks that people who like the fair color are racists and don't know anything about beauty and all those stuff, then probably you might feel like giving me N number of examples of ppl from south who are fair and ppl from north who are dark and how beautiful ppl from south are and stuff.Go ahead it doesn't matter to me.Why people comment as if its a big crime if someone likes a fair colored gal? Look around everywhere and you will find ads where you will see mostly fair colored beautiful gals promoting products which promise to make your skin fair.With Fair & Lovely now we have a Fair & Handsome also.I don't know how many guys even buy that.But unless there is a demand these products would have vanished. The sale of so many beauty products which promise to give a fair color is proof enough that everyone wants to be a bit fairer.And when you say it in particular you are called a racist.What crap?Even in southindian movies you will find that the actresses are fair colored, and people are crazy about these movies in south. Isn't it proof enough that within their subconscious even they want to see the fair color.So why call the people who like the fair color a racist? He/she is not saying that dark is ugly or bad or anything like that. Its all how the society perceives and how people are projected by the media.Call me also a racist or whatever, but I think its a personal choice and as long as he/she is not imposing it on you or anyone, you don't have the right to dictate what he should like and should not like.I find dusky gals very beautiful, so does it mean that I don't like fair colored gals? That's the kind of conclusion you might make, but not me. I like the fair colored gals also, but not the overly fair colored ones.That's my choice, my personal liking.Now if you are making another conclusion, you are free to do so. As I said it doesn't matter to me.

Btw , we Indians are not fair, we are wheatish ;-) & NOM

A Mouth Full Of Smoke

I think 90 % of the people who don't smoke and say smoking is bad, actually don't know how bad smoking is. And 90 % of the people who smoke know exactly how bad smoking is. So what is it with smoking that makes me write this post? Actually along with me now I find many of my friends who are quitting or sincerely trying to quit it. Its good. It saves money, saves your health and most important they are quitting it before getting addicted. I know a friend here who doesn't smoke, infact he can't stand near people who smoke, has broken cigs one by one and thrown them out. There is one more guy, who is a regular at the gym, is a health freak and never smokes. These two guys are placed in ITC. They are going to get brainwashed.

I Am Feeling Lucky

I found it after someone forwarded to do this stuff. Open Google and type failure and then click "I am feeling lucky". So the best way to search for me is open Google type "write2brijesh"(that's my messenger id and my e mail id) and click I am feeling lucky, it will take you to my home page. Or else just type "brijesh pandey" and click I am feeling lucky and it will take you to my blogger page. And if you do a normal google search with "Brijesh Pandey" , the first link you get is my blogger page.Its easy to google me out in this virtual world. Again I am feeling lucky ;-)

I Am None Of These. So What Am I?

................Cancer
............Leo..............Virgo
...........Lbra ..................Scorpio
................................Capricon
..........................Sagittarius
...................Aquarius
.................Pisces
................Aries
..............Taurus

..............Gemini

The Little Important Changes In Life

Hmmm For the N number of people who are totally religious about sports and who are studs, this might look like just a simple thing, but for me it means a lot. The very fact that I am blogging it is proof enough of how I feel. From the last one week I have been going for jogging and swimming in the morning and evening every day. And the best thing is probably that was the only way to stay away from smoking. Yes, finally I have started to avoid it and stay away from it. Surprisingly its easy to do so. And it feels really great to wake up early, go for a jog, do all the stretchings and sweat it out. When you see the sun coming up with a cool breeze, you realize that its worth doing it.Similarly in the evening also after all the jogging and stretchings when I enter the pool and do 20 laps continuously it feels different. In the whole process I never run against time, I just have to outrun myself.Now I understand why people talk about doing all these stuff and how important are they as you keep growing up. When the professional life starts its difficult finding time for all these. Fortunately I won't miss the swimming pool and the facilities of IITM. I hope I just continue with my workouts.

The Quarter Life Crisis 20 Something & Counting

I don't know how this term came into existence, the only similar thing I had heard about was mid life crisis(MLC). But now that I am myself facing this, I can understand that actually there exists a Quarter Life Crisis(QLC). So what exactly is the crisis? To be precise, that's exactly the whole thing is all about. One word that can best describe it is Confusion.I will not try to explain what Quarter Life Crisis is, but would rather try to put down my confusions in a rather non confusing way.

We have these four stages of life described in the Veda. Bramhacharya,Grahasta,Vanaprashta and Sanyasa. But at those times the roles and the responsibilities were well documented and there were no MLC or QLC. Being a 20 something would never have been so confusing.What exactly is this confusion? That's itself is confusing , but let's not get into that.I will try to list down things which we connect to when we are 20 something.

I think the most important and most talked about crisis is Job or Career. We finish our studies and hope for the best possible job., which somehow no one seems to get. I don't find many souls who are happy with their jobs. There are two things that come to mind when we take up a discussion on this. The most important and deciding factor being the pay and the next thing is leaving the job for an MBA after a good work experience.Being a 6 point someone I am excluding all the 9 pointers types who app to univs for higher studies. So what exactly is the problem????I myself don't know. I have not yet joined and would like to find out. But there are experiences, close ones actually. So what is a good job?? A good salary, good office, good brand name of the company you work for, good facilities etc etc . Did we leave job satisfaction? Yes, so what about that. When the campus placements are going on, everyone is just in the process of grabbing a job. It doesn't matter whether you are in Mechanical, Chemical, Aerospace,Metallurgy, Naval Architecture or any such branches. I have not included the Computer Science and Electrical branches. Not all but most of them have a different route. Most of the CS guys apply for app. And many get jobs which essentially has something to do with whatever they have studied. Ppl in EE also get good salary jobs and there are many who app, and there are also ppl who take up a job like any other guy. Now coming to the companies that hire them. Most of them come from the Software Industry. That's good. They pay a lot, and there are not many core companies who pay that much and recruit so many students. So the major chunk goes to these companies with varying salaries depending on the company, branch and work profile. The next are the big ones where branch doesn't matter. Mostly in sales and marketing types jobs. They don't recruit in large numbers, but pay a lot. Next are the consultancy services ones which is a mix of Management and IT. They also have decent salary figures. Next are the core companies who also don't recruit in large numbers but have decent salary figures. Now a days a few companies are coming which are new.Like trading or investment banking. So ultimately you fit in any of these categories of jobs, right. Well not exactly. There are a few who venture into totally different fields like music, movies, theatre. But those kind of brave souls who don't risk their life getting into some job which they never thought they will be doing are very rare. But I have seen a few of them. Mostly a person like me will end up with a s/w job, which I have got.So after an engineering degree in whatever branch you did it, you go to the next stage where the QLC starts. I will write what I have seen and felt.

Let's take a few fields.Let's take a s/w engg. I have quite a few friends who are s/w engineers. So what is it about s/w engineering that makes it such a great choice initially and later makes it feel so boring , stagnating which leads to the crisis. The work becomes monotonous, the timings are hectic, sometimes even Saturdays are spent in office,long working hours. And all these for that salary that you always dreamt about. So what are you losing out on? Rest, enough sleep, social life and the rosy picture you thought. A strange kind of confusion starts building up. Is this what I wanted to do in life? Why am I still doing this if I don't want to do this? Is this the compromise I have to make to make the money? What about sustaining the kind of lifestyle I am in? Phone bills,weekend parties,branded products or lifestyle products, living in a good house in the heart of a big city, spending on luxury stuff. And what will it cost to escape from all these? A job change, going for a MBA. But does it guarantee what exactly you want?I wish there were an appropriate answer. How about writing a book? Will I be able to do it? Do I have the talent to write a book? Will I be able to publish it? What if it fails? And what about my daily needs? Where will the money come from? While it sounds all so good to think so, its not so easy and everyone knows it. So just continue with the job and keep searching for another one which you think is what you are looking for.Let me give a few examples. I have a friend in hyderabad in TCS. Like most, she also thinks of it as boring, monotonous. Apart from these the daily grind takes whatever energy she has left. A few other are in Bangalore. Most are preparing for CAT or searching for a new job. A few are in chennai. Their view, Life just sucks. So what exactly are all these people looking for? They wanted a good job, a good salary and they got it. Why are they complaining now? Aparantley that's not what one always wants. The lack of time for other activities, absence of like minded friends, even the other everyday non work related stuff like traveling, food etc make them to think.Chilling out at the bar over a couple of drinks or beer seems to be the only social activity for which they get time. Otherwise its well spent in catching up with whatever sleep loss that happened during the week. But not all think like this, there are ppl who stick to their job and move ahead with life.

Let me give one more example. This guy was in Aerospace Engineering. He got a job in HLL in sales. The salary was good.The company was good. The perks were good. After working for a few months he quit. The reason?, too much of traveling, stress and basically doing excel work and pushing people which was something he never wanted to do. He doesn't regret quitting the job. Infact he has taken up a new job now which pays less, but he is happy.

I know a friend who did his B.Tech in Chemical Engg, but due to his CGPA could not get a job in the placement. So he joined a product based s/w company. After a few months he was fired for browsing stuff which were against the company policy. Now this guy took the job just because he could not find a good job which he wanted. He wanted to work on CFD. But no company took him because of his low CGPA. He is great at maths, really has interest in CFD but doesn't seem to have the luck. Now he had no option but to get a job from the placement cell as a trader in a startup.
Another guy left Infy because he didn't want to do coding. He could have got a fat salary job in Gulf but he choose to take a consultancy job in chennai instead. He says, if he stays in gulf he will make lots of money, but where will he spend it. There is no social life and hardly any friends.

Now with job you need to move to new places and with that comes a lot of other stuff which you need to take care of.You need a few more guys and a house to share. Once you move to a new place, you might be away from your gf. I know friends who spend hours talking over the phone with their gfs. Then there is the problem of not meeting each other for a long time. And if you don't find like minded people then you can't have fun also. These though are not a part of career or job as such, but no doubt they affect a lot.After sometime you get used to it.

So what is the solution? I don't know.I have hardly been there in. But one thing upon which everyone will agree is balance. Its difficult. But that's what makes all the difference. After watching RDB one of my friends, a s/w engg, said he doesn't feel like coding anymore, rather he should have joined a defense job. If that's the case then can he just quit and join the defense. Its not that easy. Why didn't he join in the first place itself? Like everyone else he was and is as confused as everyone else. What is it about MBA that seems to be the next step after a few years? Is it another escape route which you could not make it immediately after graduation? Or do you really know if that's what you are really interested in. Every year a few of the MBAs from the best institute don't take a high paying job and instead venture into fields which have nothing to do with what they are taught in MBA. Do they also face a QLC. Yes some of them do face it. Hardly anyone can escape it. Its a phenomenon. It happens to everyone. And that's why some of these MBAs feel its a waste of talent and time when they are busy pushing the sales chart of a soap, a FMCG product or even some liquor or cigarette which they never drink or smoke.

What is it with BPOs and CallCentres? I don't know. Ok, atleast call centers are the ones who take care of customer care and BPOs are essentially outsourced work for other ppl. The picture that emerges is night shifts, hectic work hours and too much stress along with a good pay.I know a friend who has a MBA from a reputed institute, is a Project Manager, who has to work in night shifts and its taking a toll on her. She is going to quit the job. And she is not in her early 20s who is facing this crisis.

I don't know why, but we don't hear much about doctors having hectic working hours, lawyers complaining of stress, govt employees complaining of boring mundane work etc etc . But when it comes to Engg and MBA and the jobs after that we hear a lot about these.

There was a time when, if you are around 20 something then parents used to start pushing you for marriage. Now a days that doesn't happen. Even for gals marriage takes a back seat and having a good career is what they aspire to. Having a few girlfriends or boyfriends for sometime, breaking up and moving on to new ones is not so uncommon. But even then there are ppl who stay committed. Its just that they give more priority to career then the commitment.

I am as confused as anyone else my age will be. I have two jobs. One in the prestigious Indian Navy and the other as a s/w engineer in a Product Development Company. Being a 6 pointer has never felt so bad. I screw up my academics due to many reasons and ended up being a 6 pointer. But if that goes below 6 I will lose the Navy Job. A job which has the challenge, a great lifestyle, so many facilities, and most important a core job, but minus the salary. On the other hand I have a job which is not like the usual run of the mill s/w job which are mostly service oriented, but is about designing and developing a product which has a niche market. Its a small company with huge potential.The pay is good. The work seems good. Atleast I won't be forwarding mails I guess. I don't know what's there for me in future. I am as confused as anyone else who comes to this juncture in life.I hope I will be able to fulfill some of my dreams.